I can't help feeling that my previous post (also from today) was really serious and I feel quite depressed after writing it. In the spirit of quarantine shitposting I thought I'd write a second, positive post!! Also if you're not British and don't know about our very weird elitist editorial news media, 'Karen' is a 'classist' slur, apparently. (Against who exactly??? The white middle class? Really? And there's not even a hint of irony here?)

Last night I had a crack at making peanut satay sauce with rice. I added peanut butter to fried onions, plantain, tofu, beansprouts, sugarsnaps and some North African spices and soy sauce. Honestly I impressed myself. 10/10. *chefs kiss*. Molto Bene! I struggle with the fact I used to despise peanuts and peanut butter. I honestly can't fathom why because I'm at the straight-from-the-jar point these days. Regardless, now that I'm thinking about the recipe, I wish I'd added some kale or something. Or spinach. Now I can't stop thinking about ingredients when I'm supposed to be writing this blog, which is what I'm doing instead of writing my diss. Thanks, brain. Merci.

I keep telling myself I'm going to go for a walk and should probably before the sun goes down too far. As much as going to work is a nice break from the house, it's not really the same as doing something fun or for myself and is just really tiring at the moment. Whilst I do prefer the role of checkout runner (which I'm doing a lot more these days), it's really exhausting and I have a tendency to burn myself out quite easily if I push myself to do too much at once. On the flipside, though, it is a useful outlet for all of the pent up energy I seem to amass on the daily.

What else? At the moment James and I have been re-watching old Torchwood episodes. It's so cheesy but I wouldn't change it for the world (love u longtime toshiko). It's leagues above anything in the current Doctor Who Universe can pull off in terms of anything I actually have some sort of desire to watch. I also need to watch the new Tiger King docuseries so I can contribute to The Discourse™. I know engaging in things just to get involved with online opinion posts and twitter rants is unhealthy, but I'm pretty much about go get a degree in The Discourse™ so I can't see myself holding back any time soon (please ben there's probably some significant aspect of your mental health at stake here).

It's my birthday in two days! I'm exicted to do nothing and just day drink for once. Miss Rona works hard but my desire to give myself a break might actually work harder! Although this would be a first because if you know me or have read my blogs, I have a strong unbreakable habit of running myself into the ground constantly - often because if I don't, I can't get anything done. Shy of straying back into the negativity of my previous post, I would note that my whole time at uni has been me forcing myself into really dark mental states because it feels like I have two choices. Feeling somewhat okay or doing work. There's never really been an inbetween (because I can't force my brain to focus on anything without actively hurting myself) and it's painful. But ANYWAY back to shitposting.

I downloaded Stardew Valley! I'm currently taking advantage of the ability to be like so gay dude and just need to wait for a rainy day so I can have my character marry Alex. There's probably some insight into my sexuality based on my choice of NPC but also don't we all want the power trip of being able to 'turn' the straight-acting characters?? (no ben bro wtf that's so messsed up??????). I'm really enjoying the game so far and it's helping me get over the fact I haven't got a switch or the new Animal Crossing game (welp). What's that? How's it affecting my dissertation?? I'm sorry but I won't be answering any questions from the press at this time. Contact my agent for enquiries.

I don't think there's anything else to report atm! As I mentioned in my earlier post, I've been working quite hard on the rest of my website recently (coding new page designs, adding new poems/bits of prose and creating some shrines!) so if any of you want to check it out I'd really appreciate it! Maybe even leave a guestbook message if you're feeling extra generous - god knows I crave the validation of a mid-2000s piczo comment.

Labels: misc, personal jazz